Interview for Stardumb Punkrockzine #8, January 2003
1. Why do you guys always play with masks?
Will: We only do that in Holland. If all those Dutch girls saw how beautiful we really are, they'd all stampede across to England and there'd be no females left in the Netherlands for you guys.
2. Pete, we heard you slept naked in Stefan Stardumb's bed. Is that true?
Pete: Well, all I can say to that is that I've never in my whole life longed for a denim jacket to be a freshly pressed pair of 501s!
3. Will, you look a lot like Bert of Sesame Street, are you guys related?
Will: It's just the mask. We tossed a coin and I got the Groucho Marx one. I wanted to be the Elephant Man, but Sebby got that.
4. Sebby, you just started your own label, All Nite Records. Did you start that because nobody wants to sign your band?
Sebby: Well basically I just wanted to steal some of the action from Stardumb. There's a new label in town...I'm gonna bring you down!
5. Will, isn't listening to Jazz music pretentious bullshit?
Will: Nope. It's all research for the band, since we are, essentially, a jazz band. Zatopeks songs may sound like piss-easy three chord pop-punk which your two year old niece could play, but that's deceptive. The songs are like puzzles, made up of many different complex musical and intellectual decisions. I had to study at the Paris Conservatoire for seven years before I could compose "I Wanna Blow Jerry Hormone".
6. We heard your song "I Wanna Blow Jerry Hormone" What¹s up with that? I mean, he's such a skank.
Will: Hey, even Shane McGowan got married. But Jerry's no skank. I have dreams at night where I can still hear his voice: "you're riding in the trunk baby, you're going to die!". Ooooh.
7. What's up with the "big guy" kinda thing I hear you talking about all the time? Has it anything to do with you guys being gay and into penises?
Will: We do all love a good portion of cock, but this one is The Giant's story.
The Giant: It's for reassurance. It gets cold in England.
8. You guys take a lot of Supercaps. What's up with the little Zatopeks in your jeans? Or don't you guys use them anyway?
Will: You can't miss what you don't have.
Pete: You'd better ask Stefan about that one...
9. Will lived in Berlin for some time. Don't the British despise the Germans and vice versa?
Will: A few British people still have a problem with Germans but that's mainly just when it comes to football. I've never met a German who hates British people, but maybe after the Zatopeks tour Germany that will change. Let's just hope Pete keeps his Bratwurst to himself this time.
10. Grandchildren of Buddy Holly??? Are you really for real?
Pete: That'll be the day!
The Giant: That would be swell, but I think Pete's the only one who's for real. I mean look at him. He's got the hair and the glasses. I think Buddy probably had his way somewhere along the line.
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